Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
