I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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