32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
