People with herpes should wear stickers.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize