What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
