Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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