What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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