btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
