After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
