can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
