fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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