she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
