There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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