I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
