i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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