Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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