Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
