Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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