I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
