Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
