What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
