yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
