at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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