she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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