Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The best revenge is premature balding
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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