pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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