Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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