can we get nightvision for the apartment?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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