i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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