im drinking this country out of the recession.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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