I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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