I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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