Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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