Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
