"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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