So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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