So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize