i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
