yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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