I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize