nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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