oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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