Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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