meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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