I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
