I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
