Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
