Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
