I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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