Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize