Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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