"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
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Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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