is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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