Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
