In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
