Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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