I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
