While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
