Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
