Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
