I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So vagazzling was a success
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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